Well, summer actually feels like it is sloping downwards into fall at a rather rapid rate. I have been freezing all day today, and it is actually kind of brisk outside. Mostly I've been freezing inside cold doctor's offices and my own house, but the weather outside is closer to the indoor temperature than I wanted to believe. I am trying to enjoy this change as I usually do and not think about how short the summer has seemed or how quickly another terrible winter could be approaching. I love the subtle changes in the breeze and the scent in the air at the beginning of the end of summer, beginning of fall. And now that I am not a part of it, I can appreciate the fun of back to school sales!
Although, I was talking to someone at church the other day about how I honestly have a tiny part of me that wouldn't mind having some homework to do sometimes! Not that I get bored that often, but some days I'm afraid I missed the boat when I didn't go to grad school immediately because, (sans the pressure) I really wouldn't mind working on the occasional paper! And some days I would asbsolutely love the chance to sit through another Daigle-Williamson Lit lecture. Actually, probably anytime it happens to cross my mind I know I would jump at the chance if it was offered...and it didn't mean paying for another college class :)
I saw the cardiologist on Wednesday and he seemed to have a pretty strong suspicion that I had Vasodepressor Syncope, and that it shouldn't be too difficult to treat. I was very pleased to finally hear an answer, no matter how tentative. He couldn't diagnose me until I had completed a Tilt-Table Test...a situation in which my symptoms are induced in a monitored environment, and the test is not valid until I have passed out or 45 minutes had passed. I was scheduled for that test this morning and was pretty nervous going in...I don't much care for passing out. I was all prepared to get what I'd hoped would be my final test completed so I could treat my problem and get it behind me, when it turned out that they wouldn't administer the test until they knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had no current unknown conditions that would be jeopardized by the nature of the test. And so, new tests were ordered, and the tilt-table test is to be rescheduled.
I am so tired of this. So tired of discussing my recent medical history with countless medical staff, tired of describing my symptoms and answering all the same uncomfortable questions. I just want to know what is going on, treat the problem, and move on...not to mention, on the insurance end of things, there is a bit of a rush to get any appointments, lab work, tests, etc. out of the way as soon as possible...having things rescheduled to make way for new tests makes me a bit nervous!
I feel like I am complaining an awful lot...I am trying to remind myself constantly that I need to keep my chin up and remember that God is in control...and that doesn't necessarily mean that things are going to be getting easier anytime soon, just that he knows what he's doing. I don't want to be trapped by the attitude that I am due a break, or great news anytime soon...because I just need to look around me to realize how much worse it could be and how blessed I am. There are much worthier people than myself going through much worse than a little stress over a probably minor medical condition, and handling it better.
On a more pleasant note, Dan has almost completed his first week of training at Dow and it is going really well so far. We are both extremely grateful that he has been put on a 5 & 2, days and afternoons shift...no midnights or swing shift! We were so nervous about that. I am very optimistic about this job turning into something really good for him. Meanwhile I just need to find something that won't make me pass out! Not that I am blaming my former job...but I think it would be wise for the time being if I were to look for a job with less physical activity and more opportunities to rest. if I do have vasodepressor syncope, another job where I am on my feet all day is a bad idea.
Yesterday was a nice day...I watched my little brother Jeffrey for my mom for most fo the day and we had quite a nice time together. He professes a great love of coming to my house :) We played a couple games of clue, he had a tea party with Miss Lucinda while I did my dishes, we colored some pictures, and took a walk down to speedway for some slurpees. It was a pretty happy day for me :)
Then yesterday evening we went to Joe's play, Oklahoma!. The cast did a great job, it was a really well done show - I can tell that Joe has a great time doing it, so it is nice that he is starting out before high school...he'll have plenty of time to be involved.
Well this has been rather a long, topically diverse posting...I hope I didn't test your patience too much!
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