I've been thinking a lot lately about hope. At the end of last week, we found ourselves in the midst of more than one crisis. But somehow over the course of the weekend, I found myself unable to stem the flow of hope and optimism that was for some reason flooding through me. Despite my tendency (particularly this summer) to succumb to worry and sadness when things just won't look up for us, I couldn't help but be happy and hopeful that somehow, even when it was one thing after another, everything was going to be fine, and get brighter.
This attitude of unfounded optimism bothered Dan a little, and he kept trying to bring me down to reality, stating that he didn't want to see me crushed again when things didn't get better as I was predicting they would. We were praying for a lot of things to work out, and among them, a miracle in an insurance matter.
Well, we're actually not sure yet because the sense of the matter still eludes us no matter how much we try to sort it out, but it is starting to look like we got our miracle. Despite my illogical optimism, I have a hard time believing it myself, but that doesn't stop me from being profusely grateful!
In another matter, things did not turn out as we had hoped. Dan had an interview last week for a job that we both wanted very badly for him to get....and it didn't work out. It would have meant a lot to us if he'd gotten it, but after our previously answered prayer, we can't be too cast down about it...he is happy for the time being with where he is working, and the feeling of hope has pervaded me so thoroughly that I know that God just has something different in mind...maybe at Dow, maybe anywhere else, but I know we're being taken care of.
I desperately needed a renewal of that sense of God's hand in our life. We've tried so hard this summer to trust that God knew what he was doing, but it was very hard at times, at least for me, not to feel a little abandoned. The refreshing hope that I've had renewed in my spirit isn't necessarily a belief that it is just a matter of time before things are just peachy, but a belief that God is still guiding us and present in our lives no matter what happens. It is helping me to be grateful for and enjoy my everyday life...we love the house we're renting, and just enjoy spending time in it. We love Miss Lucinda Krickett :) I feel very blessed to be able to spend time with my family much more easily....in fact I think it was their presence in my life this summer (along with Dan obviously) that helped me keep my chin up as much as possible during some of the rougher patches. And speaking of Dan, he has been wonderful. I can't describe how grateful and happy I am to have him...after 2 years of marriage I've never loved him more :)
(On a side note, there is nothing like hoards of children to give your self-esteem a little boost! Yesterday I had a working interview for 4 hours at In the Beginning Child Development Center, where I think I will be starting to work soon if all goes well. For 2 hours I was with pre-schoolers, and for 2 hours I was with infants...and both age groups were great. At one point I sat down with one little boy, who had grown attached to my hip in the short time I was there, to read a book, and it wasn't long before I was being suffocated by about 10 children pressing as close as possible to hear the book...they're probably like that with any new teacher, but popularity with children has never failed to make me feel happy!)
Also adding to my pleasant week was having my dear friend Joannah in town for a week before she goes off back to school. We were able to spend some time together during the week, and the other night she took me out for my birthday...it was nice to have a girls' night for the first time in awhile :) We topped the evening off with Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves and bemoaned the fact that Viggo Mortensen hadn't been cast in Keven Costner's stead!
Today I hope to bake bread, which I haven't done in awhile and probably won't do for awhile again if I start working again soon, clean the house for the open houses this weekend :(, and probably work on some of the cloth bags I have been making...I'm almost done with a green one for Marissa. And all of this I will do if I can ever get Lucinda off my lap.
I just added the pic below because I like it - Dan is quite dashing in his cravat and Jeff makes a savage little highlander.
No comments:
Post a Comment